Except for the CGI detail-the glass shards, coffee beans and guinea pigs that routinely fly at the audience in the 3-D version-this movie feels a lot like a middle-of-the-road Saturday morning cartoon. If, however, that sounds like fairly faint praise, well, there it is. I can also attest that the toilet humor doesn’t really get any nastier than the already mentioned scatological outcry. And the guinea pigs do act heroically, which isn’t always a given with today’s antihero leanings (even in kids’ movies). Hurley, for instance, openly longs to be a family member, and he rejoices when it happens. Now, I’ll ease back a bit and say the movie does have its cute moments and does say some light-but-positive things about being in a family. Don’t brand me a spoilsport for telling the truth: “Poop in his hand! Poop in his hand!” is the height of hilarity here. You know where this is going, don’t you? If you’ve seen the trailer for G-Force, you’ve seen everything that passes for laugh makers in this flick. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve finished watching a movie and realized that I should have saved every one of my eight or nine bucks: After all, I had already seen the film’s funniest bits in the preview trailer. Several times, large vicious dogs chase, jaws snapping, after the furry heroes. The snake lunges forward … and splats into a glass divider. Hurley is picked up by a meanspirited boy and thrown into a snake tank.

Other pummeling scenes involve animals thumping painfully into things or falling long distances. (Darwin comes to the rescue at the last second.) We’re led to believe that Speckles is crushed to death in a trash truck. Hurley finds himself trapped inside a cyber-animated microwave that clicks through its settings in an attempt to cook him. Satellites in outer space are impacted as well, and flaming debris starts raining down on Earth’s inhabitants. When the electronic plot Clusterstorm finally kicks into play, everyday appliances start transforming into killing machines, sporting sharp, deadly looking blades and laser beams. For example, during a lengthy car chase involving G-Force and government authorities, several black SUVs go flying and rip apart everything in their path. Rodents and people are thrown about with abandon. But lots of things erupt in explosive pyrotechnics. When in the midst of a smash/crash chase scene that concludes with a massive fireworks explosion, one of the careening guinea pigs looks at some observing children (and us) and says, “Don’t try this at home, kids.”Įven when G-Force is in full spy mode, there’s no blood. The other G-Forcers realize the value of family, too. Darwin says he’s proud to call Hurley his brother and both speak positively of the strong bonds of family. And though the two are initially at odds, they eventually come to care deeply about each other.

And even when they learn that was a lie and that they’re really quite ordinary, they still press on to do what’s right.ĭarwin learns that a goofy, overweight pet shop guinea pig named Hurley is his brother. The G-Force guinea pigs were told that they had been genetically engineered to be super special. Even when the obstacles in front of them seem insurmountable, they refuse to give up. And they put themselves on the line for each other repeatedly. The three G-Force members have an earnest desire to be the brave agents they were trained to be. Do they give up? Don’t bet your exterminator’s salary on it! These furtive fur balls are determined to save the world-all on their own if they have to.Īs long as they can avoid becoming (gulp!) pets.Įven though the heroes of the film are guinea pigs, they’re heroes nonetheless. FBI bigwigs, however, don’t believe any of it and the tiny spies end up under a “For Sale” sign at a local pet store. Much to their surprise, the rodents uncover a dastardly scheme called Clusterstorm that could result in global extinction. So he sends his furry force in to grab secrets from a computer chip mogul who’s suspected to have gone to the dark side. The group’s human handler, Ben, is shocked and decides his team must prove its worth. These undercover critters are just about to jump into the spy game when word comes that the FBI is pulling their funding. Speckles is the computer genius mole, and Mooch the camera-laden fly rounds out the crew as the reconnaissance expert. There’s Darwin, the determined leader Blaster, the weapons expert and Juarez, the female martial arts pro. Making up this secret squad of sleuths are, well, several guinea pigs and an actual mole. I did mention this was a special team, right? Its members have the newest cutting edge computers, the most whiz-bang high-tech espionage equipment, the latest in guinea pig-to-human language decoders. In a nondescript little warehouse, a super-special team called G-Force trains day and night for the government spy work ahead of it.

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